The Selfish, Cowardly, Quitter

Click the sound bar to hear the authors reading of this touching post

Let us take a very dark look at an act so traumatizing that the world stops,
friends cry, and everyone wants to ask why? Thoughts and prayers and remember
them by this and that! You know what I am talking about? The ending of one’s
own life, a term known as Suicide! This isn’t a post for the weak or meek so if it offends turn the other cheek.

Everyone has heard that this world is for the brave and the bold, not those
that are weak, meek and ready to fold. This world is harsh, the edge is a
razor. As hard as you climb, gravity pushes you down, cutting you on the razors
edge. When you reach the mountain top, bloodied and battered. You get hit hard one
final time and fall down the hill. Look up at where you were, how far you’ve
fallen. You are done, lost it all… giving up… becoming a quitter!

I stand beside you, as you have fallen. You are my brother, mother, sister,
lover, father, friend. I extend my hand, but you slap it away. You have quit,
you feel defeated, but you cut me deeper than any enemy. You are my Ride n Die,
my BFF, my bestie, my lover, my friend…. all the terms of endearment mean
nothing to thee. You’re a quitter…a selfish quitter.

We’ve been through everything, thick and thin, fought and became friends.
Rebellious, dangerous, savage and fabulous. We have fallen on hard times, but I
am still your rock! Lean on me, climb on me, fight your way to the TOP! Don’t
quit on me, don’t give up, keep fighting…I know it’s tough…

One day it becomes too much, my friend slits their wrist or takes a bunch of
pills. Maybe slam their car into a tree, jump off a bridge into eternity. Now
everyone cries! everyone asks why? everyone says they never seen a clue, “if
only I knew they were hurting…” It’s like the blind leading the blind,
the dead don’t talk but the living do. Now that’s all I ever hear is how great
you had it. Where you were going to go. All the good you would do, such a
bright future in you. Man, were they ever so wrong about you… coward.

It was me and you versus the world. We could take everything. I was your
rock! You were my rock! Yet look at me now, as life beats me down. I don’t have
a rock to lean on, hold me, prop me up, keep me up right and in this fight. No,
my rock was fragile and shattered to dust. Now I am left alone, angry
constantly being crushed. Wanting to give up!

All we were going through, your free… that’s great… what about me? I am
still facing those enemies. They are coming strong because they know I am weak,
alone, scared and in pain. I had a friend, but they turned their back on me.
They got to feel the sweet release! They left me here adding pressure on me!
Where is my release, my freedom, no pain? I want to give up….

I can’t though! I look at the pain you added to me. All the extra pressure I
didn’t need. I live this life alone with an empty hole in my chest. Why? So
that you can rest sweetly, six feet deep, away from me. I won’t do this to
anyone! When I am the rock! I won’t shatter to dust. I won’t add pressure to
those that need aid. I will never give up! When death comes, a fight is in
store. I won’t volunteer, I’ll kick and scream, bite and fight, more and more!
See the difference between you and me…

I am the rock…you are a selfish, cowardly, quitter.

This blog/poem is from me to you. It is from my heart, opinions and feelings. According to the World Health Organization “800,000 people die every year from suicide, that equals 3,000 people a day.” (WHO, 2019) This poem isn’t for the survivor… it is for the one considering ending it all. Don’t give up! Choose to be the ROCK! Don’t be the selfish, cowardly, quitter! Someone needs you and if you need to talk then message me!

Written by: Bradley Armentrout

Date: 18 September 2019

References:

World Health Organization, 2019. Mental Health, Suicide Data. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/

Published by Bradley Armentrout

Author, Blogger, Freelancer

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